Sunday, May 26, 2013

Well, it's Sunday again and I suppose I have to preach another sermon of some sort.

I suppose I could start in with a pretty good fire and brimstone rant but that isn't what this ministry is all about. I suppose after the rant I could ask you to send in a generous donation and support the Piccolo ministry but that's not what it is all about.

I want you to feel a little bit better about yourself and maybe pass good things on. I'd like to try and make the world a little nicer place to live.

There are a lot of you out there fighting off depression and bad feelings over either something you have no control of or that you have made a problem where it doesn't exist.

Take off your mask, Pal. You ain't the Lone Ranger. You have lots of company.

Here's to the guy that woke up this fine Sunday morning with a hangover because he let something be a problem that really isn't. I suppose it is easy for me to say this but you have to learn not to sweat the small stuff and most of it IS small stuff.

You're probably angry over something that is not a real problem.

Cancer is a problem. A fire is a problem. An auto accident with a serious injury is a problem. An accident with no injury is NOT a problem because the only thing damaged is steel and that can be fixed or replaced.

If you can sit there for a minute and put things into perspective and realize that a lot of what you consider to be a problem really isn't then you'll be a long way ahead of the game.

Think about it and maybe your luck will change and then you'll figure out that you shouldn't be waking up with a Sunday morning hangover.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't enjoy a drink or two in a Saturday night. After all, you earned it. What I am saying is that you don't have to stuff down a half a bottle of hooch and wake up feeling like hell because if you look at what's bugging you, it is likely not worth wasting good whisky on.

Happy Sunday morning.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Today's sermon is to the guy that always seems to be screwed.

This is for the guy that has his life a mess.

Maybe you are fighting the bottle or are in a depression of some sort. It could be that you are going through a particularly nasty divorce and the soon to be Ex is using the kids as a lever to get his or her way.

Most sermons are generally heard by people that are regular churchgoers and have pretty straight lives.

This one's for those that are in the middle of a mess of some sort. 

Keep plugging away at whatever it is and keep doing the right thing. Go the whole mile and don't cop to the easy way out. You are worth it and owe yourself a good life.

Life can be rough at times and for some it can be downright overwhelming but keep at it! You are worth it.

Do not let yourself or anyone out there cheat you out of your self-esteem. You are worth it.

In spite of it all, tough times don't last, but tough people do. Keep at whatever it is that you are trying to survive or overcome because you are worth it.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Father Piccolo's First Sermon

If you are a Christian that turns to the teachings of Jesus Christ to help give you strength and character please step aside. I have no business with you today. Go and spend some quality time with someone special. I likely have nothing but respect and admiration for you and all I can really say is simply to go in peace. Maybe later on we can meet up for a beer or a cup of Joe and enjoy each others's company. I'm buyin'.

I am not preaching today to offend those true believer in Christ that live by his teachings and look to him for support in times of trouble and share joys with him. I suppose that if you fall into this category you may just as well stop here and leave it at that.

If you are one of these fine Christians and decide to read further on, that is well and good. If you read on and find yourself getting angry please stop and reread the first two paragraphs. If you are still angry then more than likely the shoe fits, so wear it.

I get pretty fed up with people claiming to being Christians that use their religion as something to hide behind and cover their lack of character with. There are a lot more of them out there than one generally notices but if you keep your eyes open you can spot them.

Of course, there are some you can spot a mile away.

The troubles in Ireland seem to bring a lot of these types out as Christians of Catholicism and Protestantism have been murdering each other over nothing for quite some time now. Of course, this is pretty obvious.

While the troubles have not been brought to the States in the form of violence, they IRA does raise money in Irish strongholds like Boston and New York. The Gospel according to Piccolo says that anyone that gives a dime to the IRA OR the Ulster Defense League is simply donating to terrorism. No excuses. None. Do not even start in with a 'Yeah, but'. There simply is no excuse for it.

Still, this is not what I came here to post about. My beef is with false Christians that use the religion to cover their weaknesses or to promote a personal agenda.

We've all met the so-called Christian that blames all of his failures on the will of God and I don't buy it. In Christianity one is given free will and generally a failure can be traced back to someone choosing poorly. Blaming God is a cop out.

Someone I know had another false Christian tell him that at work he wanted to watch church on TV with his wife so they could feel together. He asked me how to handle it and I told him to tell the guy to "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesars, render unto God the things that are God and render unto the man a day's work or you ain't gonna have any money to put in the friggin' collection plate come Sunday ashore!"

Failure in life is commonplace and happens. Accepting responsibility for failure is simply showing character. Blaming it on God is plainly and simply a case of trying to cover your mistakes at the expense of God.

There is another type of false Christian that I will mention here is the snake. This is the self-rightous person that has taken it upon himself to play the role of God and run around condemning everyone else and stabbing them in the back.

Sometimes these are pretty easy to spot. If you look at someone and think that you have never seen someone more desperately in need of a blowjob there's a pretty good chance you are dealing with one of these.

They refuse to acknowledge that other people have other ways and judge them on their beliefs. They are quick to destroy things that are other people's and seem to hide behind their religion as an excuse to promote their agenda.

Many of us have seen it in the workplace and other spots. There is always the guy that bases promotions, bonuses and the like on how often some clown shows up at the Bible study group that he just so happens to run. Competence seems to have little to do with anything in this case.

These people are quite often nosy and spend their time running around and looking for devils everywhere you turn. Of course, seek and ye shall find. And if you don't find one then create one.

These are the kind of snakes that will plant something on a person and justify it by saying that God would want it that way. I've seen it happen before and likely will see something along these lines happen again.

If you don't attend the study group or go to the same church as this snake your generally on the outside looking in. You can also rest assured that he will try and sabatoge you if he gets a chance. He will justify it by saying that it is what God wants because you are not a part of the group.

Often good men, some of which very well may be the good kind of Christian men lose out. I've seem damned good men fired over things like this.

Most of us that are of age have seen these kinds of snakes and realize that these are the people that give their faith a truly bad name.
Recently I had someone that was in this category snoop into some of my private papers and wantonly destroy some of my work. 

When I confronted him he hid behind his religion and claimed to be doing God's work. Some Christian.

Listening to him justify his actions was one of the lamest and weakest things I have ever heard in my life. Every bit of his lame  justification came out as weakness. I'd bet that deep down he's a Nazi of some sort.

I wonder what he would say if I popped him in the mouth and told  HIM that I was doing God's work. Bet he wouldn't like it very much.

I still have to make it clear here that I am not chastising those of the Christian faith that use it to strengthen their character and help them through troubled times. Good Christians are a joy to be around, as are good Jews and others. The Hindu that runs the local 7-Eleven is a joy and he told me he practices his faith regularly. So does the Catholic a few doors up the street. He's a joy, too.

Seeing I am now an ordained minister I suppose I ought to

 give sermons every so often and will post them here. I suppose this is better than at my usual blog, Piccolo's Hash.

Don't expect to find a whole lot of "repent and be saved" type of sermons here but I suppose if you know someone in the TV industry  and like what you read here you might speak to him.

Seeing the retirement fund is not as full as it ought to be I suppose I would be willing to become a TV evangelist and go on stage and froth at the mouth a bit and ask you to send me $49.95 and two specially marked bottle caps from Jameson's for salvation.

Still, I have started this blog as another outlet.

The other night for good reason I became an ordained minister for the sole purpose of officiating at my nephew's wedding because it looked like the person that was supposed to perform it backed out.

Within a day I got word that the problem was rectified and that was followed by a quick phone call to me saying that they have never seen my nephew get so motivated to get someone else to marry him as the fear and possibility that his Uncle Piccolo  would perform the ceremony.

So I am now presently a bona-fide ordained minister and  have no church to preach to. This is unacceptable because it puts me in the same category as Al Sharpton and that for sure ain't no good whatsoever.

I have taken the vows to support religious freedom and always do the right thing.

From time to time I will post a sermon here and I suppose if you care to you can join the church.

I have looked carefully into this and have found no conflicts with any of the major religions of the world and anyone is free to join this church and keep their present faith. In fact it is encouraged and I hope any of the preachings I may make in the future bring you closer to your faith no matter what it is.

The purpose of this blog is to try and bring us a little closer together and make the world a little nicer place to live.

 Any donations made to my church are not tax-deductible and furthermore will be listed on my tax forms as income and I will have to pay taxes on it to help support the moochers out there so save your money.

I suppose you can send me a jug if you want, though.

Yours in peace and war,

Father Piccolo.